BDSM GLOSSARY -D

D

D-type (for “Dominant-type”): A universal term including all forms of Doms, Dommes, Owners, Tops, etc. (s-type for submissives.)

Dacryphilia: Arousal by tears or sobbing.   *(No, not a Dacron fetish!)

Damsel in distress: A submissive who has serious emotional problems, usually caused by an abusive childhood or relationship, or a traumatic experience such as rape. She may need professional counseling, or simply time to process her trauma, before she can be in a meaningful relationship. See White Knight.

'Deer in the headlights': (see squick, mindfuck) The look on a submissive's face when she has been squicked or mindfucked. Priceless!

”Definition”: A term used within this glossary to indicate that the following text is intended for entertainment, not to be taken seriously.

Diaper lover (see adult baby): 1. One who dresses and/or role plays the part of a baby or toddler.  2. One who enjoys wearing and/or relieving themselves in diapers, without necessarily indulging in role play.

Discipline (see reward, punishment): Any activity in which one person trains another person to act or behave in a specified way, often by enforcing rigid codes of conduct or by inflicting punishment for failure to behave in the prescribed way.

DM: See: (1) Dungeon Master/Mistress (2) dungeon monitor

Dollification: the process of evolving, mentally and physically, into a "living doll." Individuals who desire this process-as well as those who are in the midst of the process or have already achieved an end result-may be described as "dolls," and most desire as well to be owned. The parties involved in dollification are referred to as "Owner" and "doll"; this is comparable to a Master/slave or Dom/sub relationship.

Mental traits of a doll include but are not limited to: enjoyment of objectification and natural subservience, the underlying will to be transformed through one's own and/or outside forces into a living doll, ultimately, the capacity to feel/see oneself in a dollific manner, which the doll will continuously strive to achieve and/or improve.

While not all who possess these innate qualities will embrace them, it will not change that it is part of who they are by nature.

Physical traits of a doll-in process or complete-include but are not limited to: corsets, stiletto heels, thigh highs/stockings, rubber/vinyl/plastic suits, dresses, skirts, makeup, etc. along with all other body modifications. Long hair to a shaved head, A-cup to DD (and larger), any height, clothed or not, still to feisty-the physical traits are all relative to each individual doll and its own fit into and relationship with dollification.

Ultimately the ideal physical aspect of the doll is set forth by the doll itself, an Owner, or a combination of both.

Note: It is important to realize that there is no intention here to degrade or diminish the doll-particularly, as it may appear to some, in comparison with the Owner. This is a symbiotic relationship: Yin and Yang. Those who are familiar with M/s or D/s relationships are aware of the innate equality of such relationships, paradoxical though it may seem. -@Vanille

Domdrop: The Dominant/Top's equivalent of "subdrop." In brief, it's an emotional condition caused by the sudden drop of Adrenalin from intense BDSM play. It can manifest in a variety of emotional responses, including anger or depression. It's the reason aftercare isn't just for subs/bottoms.

Domestic (usually applied to a slave or submissive): One whose inclination is to serve primarily as a domestic, as in cleaning, cooking, running a household. There may or may not be sexual or other physical contact involved in the relationship.

Domina or Domme: Female forms of Dominant (see below)

Dominant or Dom: Person who exercises control in a D/s relationship. Can be used for either male or female Doms. (See Domina or Domme above. Also see Master, Mistress. Contrast with Top, which usually refers to the person who exercises control in a scene, and who may or may not be a Dominant “full time”, or may not be the Dominant of the person being controlled in the scene.

Dominate: To have power and influence over another person. In D/s, generally refers to having control in a power exchange relationship. (From Latin Dominus: “Lord, Master. or Domina aka Lady of the House.”)

Doormat: Term arising from “being walked on.” (1) A typical vanilla view of the concept of submission. (2) A submissive who desires to be treated as insignificant, objectified, to serve with little or no showing of affection or approval. Such a submissive will often prefer to be a slave or service-oriented. Such a submissive may be perfectly healthy and happy in this role; however, it may also be that she is a “damsel in distress” with emotional and/or self-image issues.

Dragon's tail: An unusual type of whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, to which a wide triangular piece of thin leather or suede is attached. This leather or suede forms a lash which is a hollow tube tapering to a point at the striking end.  Examples are here.

D/s: Commonly used abbreviation for Dominance/submission.

DTTAH: Don't Try This At Home! This acronym indicates a practice that can be EXTREMELY DANGEROUS and should never be performed, or performed only with consultation and training from an expert. See edge play.

Dungeon: A room or area with BDSM equipment and play space. Examples: A corner in a Dominant’s house, a facility owned or rented by a BDSM club, one or more elaborate rooms in a public club catering to the BDSM trade.

Dungeon Master/Mistress (DM): The owner or host of a dungeon facility, or host of a play party. In general, the person in overall charge of an event, whose decisions should be accepted and respected by all attending. (DM can also stand for dungeon monitor, below.)

Dungeon monitor (DM): A person appointed to supervise the interactions between participants at a play party to ensure their safety and adherence to the dungeon rules. The DM’s directions must be accepted by all attending. (DM can also stand for Dungeon Master, above.)

Dungeon rules (may also be house, group or party rules): A set of rules established by the host of an event or play party, by the Dungeon Master/Mistress, or a group or club. All attendees must agree as a condition of attending. These rules usually address such issues as safety, hygiene, consent, and good behavior.

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