Omission during Negotiations

Omission, which is the act of holding back sometimes critical information, is the exact same as willfully lying!

Not informing your play partner that you've had an issue with a sore shoulder that was bothering you earlier in the week, just because you want to play.

Is WRONG!!!

As a Top, during the Negotiation stages, I will ask the new Play Partner's Hard Limits are. As sometimes play partner's Hard Limits can change over time, if I haven't played with a Play Partner in a while I'll ask again before Play, again. I'll also ask if any medical conditions have changed, or even if they've had a medical issue prior to play.

Over the years, I have found that even New to the Life Kinksters lie to themselves, be honest with yourself and your play partners!!  If you're interested in a particular Kink, Kinksters will often discuss different types of Kinks at Munches or here. There are also workshops occasionally held that will help point the New Kinkster in the right direction.

Or the "Fantasy" with claiming constantly that they're a "Heavy Bottom", or even the elusive "Pain slut", later during play, go non-verbal during Scenes. Which should promptly end the Scene!!

This is definitely something that should have been told during the Negotiations period!!

Fantasies are one thing, the reality is something completely different. Stating claims such as that and being the polar opposite, in reality, isn't a good way to start off a Play Partner relationship ( or any relationship ), with more lies.

Over the years, some claim to love Rough Play. Yet, in the end, they explain that they didn't like it rough play at all, they just kinda put up with it...

Things change, people change, tastes change too. If you're not communicating with your Play Partner(s) that you've changed or interests have changed, then you're not doing anyone including yourself any favours. And the omission is the same as lying. This would be a good time to do some soul searching and to stop lying to themselves!

Altering yourself so much, to change yourself to fit someone else's ideas, you may not even be able to recognize yourself in the future. And lying to them that you're not making grand changes to your life to fit them, is the very the same as lying to oneself!

When those continually lie to me, expecting me to maintain a level of trust with them.

Nope, the trust is definitely, GONE!!!!

And, I am as well!

Omission during Negotiations

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April 21, 2020 11:17 AM

Outside pressures, like Family/Religion/social communities, can lead to Deluding aka Lying to yourself. This, in turn, causes you to LIe to others – sometimes knowingly other times not so much. Yet Delusion is still a Lie. to self to others.