Welcome to the wonderful world of BDSM, are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin.
First rule: Consent is KEY! All parties, 19+ in age, should be able to give consent while sober and without any coercion!
Second rule: Consent and Assent is for everyone! During the negotiations stage, ask questions, discuss hard limits & soft limits. Check if consent is given and for how long.
Third rule: Never Assume! You won't know the person's BDSM status unless you ask. Never Assume there is something wrong in a scene, talk to a Dungeon Monitor ( AKA DM ) FIRST if you see something concerning. Never interrupt the scene!
New to Kink?
Find yourself a Kink Buddy for bottoms, submissives and Switches, a Mentor for Tops at a Munch near you, or one close by.
Events will often have signs with their particular rules associated with that particular event. Some events will not allow regular street clothing for example, as they want to have a certain type of atmosphere.
Some events won't allow a particular type of play / scenes, for example fire play due to restrictions from the hall or venue. Best to check in with regulations and rules before attending.
A scene is like a BDSM play, where all parties concerned with the scene, give or revoke Consent. The Top or conductor, lead actor / actress develops the scene, arranges all the equipment to be used in the scene according to the Negotiations between the players.
Definitions of a Scene:
Top = Director of the Scene, The Giver, the ones giving the consensually negotiated floggings, whipping, spankings...etc.
Bottom = Receiver of those consensually negotiated flogging, whippings..etc.
The Top should always question a new, potential player if they have experienced flogging, or whipping or even spanking. Get to know the new player, BEFORE you play!
Bottoms, submissives..etc. be sure you tell the Top of the Scene if you have experienced those BDSM activities similar to what you're about to do.
Also know that once negotiated, the Scene should not alter or deviate from the Negotiated Scene. From any of the parties involved! Example: The bottom of the scene, decides to get up to alter their position without announcing anything. Surprise, surprise, now the Top is throwing a flogger or whip, this catches the bottom on their ear or head, an area that wasn't negotiated because of an accident.
Consent Revoking: Any parties involved can revoke Consent at any point and time. Remember this!