#NSFW In this article we’re telling it like it is, clear talk about Consent and Assent!!
50 Shades of Truth
With the upcoming movie representation of particular misrepresented BDSM movie due out this month, we felt that there needed to have some light shined on certain facts from the novel series of the same name. The main thing we needed to point out is in the novels there was no real negotiations between the two main characters.
There also was no consent given, as per the laws of Canada and all other countries who have signed on to the Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms.
Consent and Assent definition: Consent vs. Assent
Verb: to permit, approve, or agree; comply or yield (often followed by to or an infinitive): He consented to the proposal. We asked her permission, and she consented.
Verb: to agree or concur; subscribe to (often followed by to): to assent to a statement; to give in; yield; concede: Assenting to his demands, I did as I was told.
Noun agreement, as to a proposal; concurrence; acquiescence; compliance.
Which means just remaining at the place where the potential scene could take place does not give consent. As a Dominant I ensure I get consent via a verbal or written agreement. Before my play partner and I begin playing I make sure that I've gotten both Consent with what is going to happen and Assent to let my play partner know that we'll be going on for a couple hours at least.
I show my toys as well as any other equipment that will be used. So there's no real surprise over the toys or length of the scene, Yet, as a Dominant I have created the scene, I facilitated the it and arranged any equipment for use. The submissive, or bottom's, role is to control/guide the flow of the scene.
While using the universal traffic light system for my new play partners ( submissive and/or bottom ) this only used the first few times while we're becoming accustom to each other. Usually after several months of play, by then the Top should know what the bottom likes and can endure.
NO, this is NOT Topping from the bottom, all this does is ensure that the bottom knows full well what is going to happen and how long. I have already negotiated what will happen prior to the bottom/submissive arriving.
As the Top, they should not go to such lengths, as their time, money and effort to arrange all of that, ONLY to have the bottom "Red Out" on them if they Violate the Agreement. Which effectively cancels the scene full stop.
This does NOT mean that they're a service Top, they still get to do whatever they like, as long as it was previously negotiated. If sex wasn't on the table then no sex happens.
We always and always will advocate for Consent in one form or another, and now we have Consent and Assent. It’s not just right, it’s the law!
A disclaimer and some facts about the novel/movie/author.
We have not read, nor will read any of the novels of 50 shades. As for the movie, we hope the movie will focus on negotiations of the two main characters where it wasn’t apparent in the novels.
Also if a Dominant has mommy issues, then they should seek psychiatrist and get tissues! And NOT taking it out on their submissive. This means any Dominant or any submissive as abuse knows no gender or age.
If we want to watch a movie about the true BDSM lifestyle and not some fan fiction fantasy we’ll throw in the 2002 film “The Secretary” starring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal . Which initially has the main character with the same last name as Grey ironically enough...
And if we want to read a BDSM novel we’ll read the Beauty series from a far better novelist Anne Rice.
The author E.L. James on her website also describes her novels as “..adult romance..”.
Don’t take our word for it..
#22 - No self-respecting tech mogul in Seattle would buy a woman an Apple computer.
Base your own judgement with facts. Be Consensual!