Been a while.
I’ve been watching a... trainwreck in progress let’s call it.
Started when my Flatmate, who I will call Smurf_J, wrote up her take on an event she had attended here the local community, in which there was, apparently, Music played she and her partner found objectionable and then later when attempting to say farewell after the party, with her Polly Significant Other was totally Disrespected by the Hostess, I shall call her Smurf_S, in that Smurf_S chose to dismiss her with a wave to continue a conversation about Santorum, the scent of froth produced by some people during anal sex rather than even acknowledge their leave taking.
Now, when I first heard this, I thought, "wow, brainfartingly selfish yet is it Smurf_S so possible misunderstanding, surely Smurf_S will be honourable, will to to resolve this like an adult, will try to makes things ok." … As you may have guessed this did not happen. What happened is Smurf_S’s response to the letter being “I’m glad you are getting therapy for your mental issues”.
W. T. F. ? Did a responsible, profitable, adult Business woman just wave some one’s mental disability around to invalidate their feeling of being disrespected? Yeup. Did. Feh! Colour me disgusted at the stupidity and childishness of being unable to accept responsibility for their inappropriate action.
I just shook my head. Smurf_J finally said, “I no longer want to be put down by you, I no longer want to be your punching bag, I no longer want to be your therapist, I no longer want to have this discussion. Do not contact me anymore”.
Then came disrespectful put downs and flaming and person character attacks by Smurf_S’s minions. This made me look upon all of them with a measure of disgust. Then came the use of veiled threats and references to personal information and my fear began.
Not in the way they wanted me to fear however, it was the fear that if I trusted them enough to give them a piece of me then they too would, eventually, treat me or try to treat me in the same way. I wanted no part of that sort of political shit.
I put up with that shit enough during school. And I played it well enough to keep them all from knowing that I wanted to change my gender so playing well enough to keep someone from f*cking with me and mine didn’t take much. Ok, so I had to wait for Smurf_S to fuck up by twittering that she’d have Smurf_J Involuntarily Admitted to a mental hospital and then blowing the whistle so that hundreds could see just what had been done.
It still should NOT have gone that far. However, I was really hoping that common sense, and business honour at least, would intervene... and it didn’t.
And so I started asking myself and others, about accountability in our Alternative Lifestyle Communities. And got the answer that we are answerable only to ourselves, own sense of Honour, Self-worth and Respect of Others as we see it. There is no central baseline to link our communities together beyond a desire that is considered aberrant, deviant and perverted by others, even those in our community at times. So we can only hold someone in a Leadership position in our Alternative Community, either because we put them there, read drafted, or they accepted the position, read elected; or because we look to them for leadership, to their own stated ethics, morals or standards.
Of which Smurf_S has none.
Stated publicly where she could be held to them that is.
She has however, proven to have some standards. She has proven, through her own acts taken in this altercation, to be discriminatory toward the disabled, engaging in non-consensual acts physical, mental and emotional, elitist and misogamist. In short she has proven herself to be backstabbing and dishonourable, seriously in need of therapy for her past trauma that she refuses to acknowledge lest she become the very type of person she despises.
I do not know what to say anymore. Nor where to go. I can hold Smurf_S to no standard as there is no common standard, nor does she have a publicly stated one and therefore cannot be held to one, other than Mundane Laws.
This is what ended up happening; Smurf_J had to file "harassment and uttering threat charges", yes those are real charges under the Canadian Criminal Code, to get Smurf_S to back off.
Even so, one of the other clique members just could not resist sending one last piece of hate mail. This has since been added to the charges including her as an accomplice before and after the fact.
Yet, really. Did it truly need to go this far? Would it have gone this far with anyone else?
I should like to say a firm "No" to those last questions. Reality is that I cannot say such as it can and it might go that far and farther.
Yet to sit here, on the sidelines of this Social injustice, and do nothing would have lessened my sense of Self Honour and Self Worth at the cost of another’s sense of self, safety, sanity, what there was left of it, for the sake of keeping access to a play space run by someone that I no longer trusted.
No play space is worth that. Not in my opinion.
So, now I’ve my very first Play Space in the Alternative Lifestyle Community and moved on... to yet retain my sense of Self-Worth and Honour and an increased sense of Self Respect.