Well, this can be said to be the acts of submitting, obeying another or following the instructions of someone else. After that … Well, it varies from person to person. And it gets complicated. For instance, why do we Submit? What motivates us? Is it Love, Desire, Money, Fear, Need or a bit of all?
First things first. I am a Submissive. Have been all my life both by Nature and Nurture, so this, as with all my other writings, is written from the view of a submissive, the person on the Bottom. Now, with that said…
Why even bother to make the distinctions? Because while submission and obedience are closely related, almost intertwined one might say, there are differences not only between them, yet also the why of Submission being an everyday occurrence; a Lifestyle, an Erotic Tool, A means to an end, A means of Safety perceived or real, or something so basic to One’s nature that it cannot be ignored.
I make the distinctions because at some point they become important as there are differences, mostly in the Why of it. Why did you Submit? Why did you do as you were told? Why Obey?
And what do we, submissives, get from this? Well, partly it’s that we get an opportunity to serve and yet it’s more than that. We also get someone to support, to nurture and be taken along on a ride that makes us better as well.....
RaziAlya had this to say:
“submission is a state of heart that inspires obedience, whereas obedience is merely an action that can be done without conviction.
If one was asked to fetch a glass of water...
Submission would fetch the glass of water, obediently bring it to the table, and with thankfulness that one could do something pleasing place it on the table. There is a desire to obey.
Obedience would fetch it, could possibly slam it down on the table and walk away grumbling or even indifferently shrug it off. (worst case scenario!)
Both had the same instruction, both delivered the same action - but one was from a place motivated by the heart, the other a mere action. ….
… Submission does not make one weak, the same as obedience does not make you strong.
It takes strength of spirit to acknowledge the desire to be submissive and even more to give that gift of submission to Another. ”
Is one a Better Submissive if one can take more of whatever, be it pain, humiliation, or other? No. What makes a good submissive, a good Servant or Worker if you will, is the ability to follow the orders given to you and complete them to the Dominant, or Boss’s satisfaction. The reason Why we do an action determines by and large how that action comes across or is perceived. Did we do it because we wanted to, because had to or because we saw no other option for survival?
All of that will reflect, as we saw in RaziAlya’s example, in how we do it, when we do it, how thoroughly we do it. The same holds true weather its vanilla day job or kinky relationship, why you do it will show and determine how you do it, and ultimately separates the worker from the fantasty-ist and fantasy-ist form the everyday heart and soul submissive. The last is the rarest, hardest to find, most difficult to keep, the strongest, most honest, most sincere, supportive person you will ever find. And people, if that describes your Significant Other, the one who holds your heart in the most profound of ways, then make sure that you tell them that you are grateful for them and their efforts frequently. Not only will they need the reassurance, it will help keep you from errors and accidentally losing your Submissive.
To be submissive is to submit to another in order to make them and yourself better, to challenge yourself, to support your Dominant, to present Sincerity, Honesty, Respect and Reliability as part of who you are. Not just for the hour, or the day or the week nor even a month or year, but to present it for a lifetime seeking to always improve yourself and your Dominant be that your Boss, your Dom/me/Domina, Master/Mistress, Wife, Husband, Significant Other or any combination thereof.
Now, if you reverse the roles, this can also apply almost word for word to Dominants to submissives. That you are there to guide, to teach, to support, the submissive honestly, respectfully, sincerely, and faithfully. A word to the wise for the Dominants, who read this, be you experienced or not; treat your submissive with kindness and understanding, giving clear directions, respecting their boundaries and not pushing without agreement, and you will be a much sought after Dominant that need not worry.
Hope this helped you to understand the role a Submissive plays in everyday life based on my opinion, if you have questions or comments please feel free to leave them and I will respond as time, energy and my Domina permit.