Domination and submission. Is it part of BDSM or the Alternative Lifestyles if not Eroticized/Romanticized?

There are many every day examples of Domination and submission (D/s), for instance; Teacher and Student, Boss and Employee, Parent and Child, Government and Citizen being the most common and prevalent. The question is, are these relationships part of BDSM or the Alternative Lifestyle(s) when without the Erotic or Romantic elements?

If we say no, what of those who are homosexual and practice D/s? Or those who are heterosexual and practice D/s? Are these people then just enlightened vanilla’s, aka “normals”?
If we say yes, then nearly everyone, everyday practices and engages in Dominance and submission. And doesn’t that open a whole new can or worms.

Dominance and submission is primarily defined as taking enjoyment from either dominating or being dominated. Now, there is a difference between dominating and domineering. The first assumes responsibility for and appreciation of their submissive/underling. The other does not, only assuming that another must do what they have been told simply because they have been told to do it.

Honor, Integrity, Truthfulness, Strong Moral Code. These are what are looked for and to by those who would be ruled or chosen to rule, be dominant. Because without that, there can be no real trust and without real trust, or some level of it, there can be no Dominance or submission. There can only be tyranny followed by revolution or rebellion. Ok, ok, enough digression. What is a Submissive and what is a Dominant is another discussion/blog posting.

So. Without Sexualizing D/s, is it part of BDSM? Without Romanticizing Dominance and submission, is it an Alternative Lifestyle?

Considering the current, and unfortunately past, definitions of Dominance, aka Authority, the answer seems to be both yes and no due to the almost commonplace abuse of position. Part of this relates to and back to, the times of when the Nobility ruled. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase Nobility obliges or Obligation of Nobility. This is in effect the way that we submissives and Slaves want to be able to look upon our Dominants and Masters/Mistresses. As people who feel and felt obligated to our care and us for the service we gave them as they recognized that without us to serve they get to do the serving. And when we find someone worth, or that we feel/perceive is/as worth serving, then we love them. Not always sexually nor romantically. Yet we do get Loyal and that is a form of, expression of, love. The same with a simple every day hug.

So, if D/s is part of BDSM even without the sexual/romantic/erotic part or aspect, then does that mean that everyday life, mainstream vanilla, is part of BDSM? Does that make BDSM so very everyday/common? I mean, rally, Bondage can be as much Mental as Physical as Emotional, same for Sado (Sadism) and Machoism. Every day in near every way we will encounter those that want to place themselves above us, give us Challenges to see how we cope or rise above the Pain, assisting us in growing themselves and Us or attempting to command us when all they want is to have their ego stroked and will return nothing but emptiness so that we will not grow to be better than them.
So. Is D/s a part of BDSM? Or is it a part of everyday life? And if it is a part of everyday life, why do we feel the need to conceal it? To fear having it used against us in Divorce cases, Custody cases, Employment retention? If it is every day, why do we fear it being known?

I say it is both part and not. That is integral to BDSM as it is a means of relating one’s self to another in a Social Situation by Mutual Agreement. The Difference between D/s being Mundane/vanilla and Alternative is merely a Formal Agreement/Acknowledgment of one’s relationship.
As always, Comments are welcome, be they in agreement, not or somewhere in between!

- All rights Reserved, Sept. 9, 2011.

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